so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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