Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
