Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
