Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
