we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
