If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
