the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
