Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
being pregnant is like rehab
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
