that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
