so that wasnt chicken after all
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
