Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
