this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
