D3 body, D1 cock
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
