Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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