went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
