Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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