Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
