i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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