We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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