I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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