watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
