i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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