So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
