I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
