question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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