I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I intend to get homeless drunk
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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