Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
