did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
