i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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