After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
