my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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