Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
