so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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