so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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