The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
