you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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