Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
