You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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