i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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