Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I didn't shave. On purpose
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
