Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There r osticjed everywhere
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
