Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
