i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We are all done wearing pants today
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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