I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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