I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
babies were throwing up all over the place
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
