how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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