? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
