All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
