yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think your dad took our porno
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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