I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
