Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
